How strange. Over the past 6 months I've started learning about childhood trauma and how it affects ('contaminates') our adult lives. Although my parents did the best they could, I've gradually begun accepting that I was 'abused' as a child; in the sense that my childhood years were spent doing hard labour for my parents (more on my blog: https://dimaggio.org/personal.html#carer ). Last night, I once again dreamt my mother needed help (a common dream) - yet for the first time ever, I refused! I wasn't overly angry; and I said something like: 'You've used me as child labour all my life. I refuse to do any more. Ask someone else, like my brother, to help you'. This is apparently a HUGE step forward in my recovery ie. my subconscious (or the 'limbic system', where suppressed childhood emotions are trapped), is beginning to 'shed' or 'work through' the emotional pain of the past. I am of course very pleased about this. Yet although I didn't feel bad rejecting my mother's plea for help in the dream - I felt terrible about it when I woke up! Especially as today is the anniversary of my mum's passing 😢
The first anniversary of my mum's passing where I miss both my mum and my dad. Not too much, mind you, as I feel very content with the time and relationship I enjoyed with them. I recently shared my thoughts on my personal blog: https://dimaggio.org/personal.html#carer
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